Weekly Horror round up – Saturday 18th April 2015

From Stephen King to the Spinal Tap of vampire movies, it can only mean Bradley Hadcroft’s weekly horror round up, enjoy the fang! oops

 – The Dark Tower

The news that Stephen King fan’s had all been craving finally broke this week with concrete confirmation of a Dark Tower adaptation from Sony Pictures and project partners MRC.

This potentially epic enterprise is scheduled to begin with a film based on the first book The Gunslinger as well as tapping into the lucrative new home market with an integral television series.

Script writing duo Jeff Pinkner(Lost) and Akiva Goldsman(Batman Forever) are faced with the daunting task of initializing the endeavor and will face an unprecedented hailstorm of fan boy vitriol should they get it wrong. Goldsman however already has an Oscar on his mantle piece for A Beautiful Mind and the initial word from King himself is glowing as Deadline Hollywood reports:

“Those who have traveled with Roland and his friends in their search for the Dark Tower are going to have their long-held hopes fully realized. This is a brilliant and creative approach to my books.”

The Lead role of Roland Deschain will be the source of much speculation and a rumour mill of massive proportions has already begun turning.

Adaptations of the authors work are infamously patchy at best but this incredible series represents a rich horror goldmine.Buried within it’s pages are some seriously twisted concepts and outrageously bloody set pieces alongside King’s customary character driven genius.The Dark Tower could feasibly shape up to be the next Game Of Thrones.

– Attack Of The Lederhosenzombies 

In a week containing very strong competition it took something pretty special to take the top prize for the most insane title.However this entry in the zombies in the snow sub genre from Austria nailed it.

As reported by Tiroler Tageszeitung  the film cost just 2.5 million euros to make and is heavily influenced by the early films of Peter Jackson,especially Braindead.The practical effects driven carnage is scheduled for a festive domestic release.

Here is the first teaser :

– Children Of Paranoia

Clif Prowse and Derek Lee the pair behind the majestic Afflicted are the directors charged with bringing the first of Trevor Shane’s book series to the screen.

Deadline.com reports :

“The first book in a bestselling trilogy, Children Of Paranoia tells the story of an innocent young man who comes to learn that the tragic death of his sister is connected to a clandestine, global war that’s been raging for centuries. Bent on revenge, the young man becomes a secret soldier in the battle, assassinating enemy targets from the shadows. Then he falls for a beautiful young woman who causes him to question which side he’s really on — good or evil.”

The script is being rewritten by Marc Haimes who associate produced Men In Black II and much more interestingly wrote the script for the mercurial Simon (Red White And Blue) Rumley’s seemingly M.I.A movie The Last Word.

 – The Lobster 

Cannes released it’s official selection line up for 2015 this week and saw director Yorgos Lanthimos (Dogtooth) enter the big league as he was included in competition for his ode to weirdness The Lobster.This is his first English language effort and stars Colin Farrell(In Bruges) and the superb Léa Seydoux(Inglourious Basterds).

The movie takes place in a dystopian future where members of society not in a relationship are arrested and incarcerated in a menacing  hotel.Detainees are given a strangely specific 45 days to find a suitable mate or risk being transmogrified into an animal.

The film boasts a huge visual effects department led by Olivier Cauwet(The Matrix Reloaded) so expect the directors bizarre imagination to generate some of the most startling genre blending images of the year.

 – Sun Choke

More details surrounding the hotly tipped Stanley Film Festival debutante emerged this week with a trailer and interview with the director Ben Cresciman from The Hollywood Reporter.

The brilliantly titled holistic chiller features turns from Sarah Hagan(Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and horror legend Barbara Crampton(Re-Animator , You’re Next,The Lords Of Salem).Cresciman promises to use this meditation on loneliness to “cultivate the atmosphere of dread” and bring the horror’s usually hidden in the darkness “into the sunlight.”

– The Human Centipede III 

Well the week would not be complete with out a chance to win an original paintfart (the mind boggles) painting by maverick directer Tom Six would it ?

Trailer Watch :

– Killer Rack 

Brooke Lewis(Slime City Massacre) provides the voice over for a pair of homicidal flesh craving mammaries in this new super NSFW trailer trawled from the very bottom of the cinematic swamp-lands……..

 – Dude Bro Massacre III

………and hot on it’s unwashed heels this week came this shimmering  gem of the silver screen that will also not be” troubling the academy” this year.

 – Bastard 

Succinctly titled 80’s horror homage  starring “danger artist”Tonya Kay(Raze).Currently ripping spines out around L.A. but hoping for a VOD release.

– Turbo Kid 

The positive momentum continued to sky rocket this week for high concept nostalgia trip Turbo Kid as it delighted audiences at both it’s European Premiere at Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival and it’s outing at Denmark’s CPH PIX. Here’s what the Dallas Observer had to say ahead of it’s Dallas Film Festival screening :

“I’m ready to pre-game for Fury Road in June by checking out this New Zealand made bmx-ridin-post-apocalyptic-80’s-synthtastic-gorefest!”

Blu – Ray release of the week : 

This mockumentary from Metrodome follows the trials and tribulations of a group of ancient vampires as they deal with inter-flatmate jealousy and the farce friendly baggage of immortality and vampire lore.Just how do you achieve a cohesive sense of fashion when you have no reflection ?

Adored by critics but largely ignored by the public,What We Do In The Shadows is in severe danger of being known solely as the movie most often( lazily) compared to Spinal Tap. One of the few things it does in fact have in common with said film is it’s future cult status.The constant barrage of quotable one liners and masterful comic timing from the entire cast render this hilarious flick eminently re-watchable.

Special Features:

• Deleted Scenes
• Behind the Shadows
• Promo Videos
• Video Extras
• Original Short Film

Release Date: 13 April 2015

Werewolves…not Swearwolves !!!!

Bradley Hadcroft.