Hit And Run Review

★☆☆☆☆

Mark well the title of this film, dear reader, for therein endeth the once promising career of Bradley Cooper.

To endure the relentless audio-visual torture of Hit and Run is to ask oneself two questions: firstly; what kind of film were directors David Palmer and Dax Shepard aiming for here? Twee heartwarming romance? Toe-curling, gross-out nonsense? Balls-to-the-wall, pedal-to-the-metal, knackered clutch and smoking tyres adrenaline? Secondly; Bradley Cooper, really?

Charles Bronson’s (Shepard) life of security and anonymity in a witness protection programme is disturbed when his girlfriend, Annie (Kristen Bell), is offered a lucrative position at a los Angeles university, forcing him to drive her cross-country to his old stomping-ground, risking exposure, and retribution at the hands of those whose crime he was a witness to.

Along the way they are tailed by Annie’s desperate ex-boyfriend, a well-toned charisma vacuum desperate to win her back by offering precisely no personality but nice abs; a chummy yet largely incompetent pair of policemen; and a luckless U.S. marshall, energetically brought to life by screaming, flapping byword for cinematic quality, Tom Arnold.

Bradley Cooper’s unfortunate part in this woefully cack-handed mix of shoe-gazing sentimentality, cornea-scarring nudity, and head-pounding (and mostly circular) car chases, is that of Alex Dimitri, a former bank-thief turned dog-lover with a score to settle with Bronson.

It is to be hoped, though, that Cooper’s relegation to a supporting role may allow him avoid being being tarred by this bizarre casserole of earnest romance, tedious car banter, and rape jokes.

Sadly, the sorry sight of Cooper wincing his way through a protracted dialogue in which he attributes blame for an unwanted session of anal intercourse, just about sums up a film which fails to convincingly hit any marks. moments of sincerity between a thoroughly uninteresting couple and a succession of dull car chases, interspersed with the odd cock, fail to raise even the tiniest of chuckles or provoke any emotion beyond general irritation.

Depressing, headache-inducing nonsense; the film’s generally pro-canine philosophy does at least prevent it from being a totally worthless

Chris Banks (@Chris_in_2D)

Rating: 15
UK Release Date: 12th October 2012
Directed by: David Palmer, Dax Shepard
Cast:Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard, Tom Arnold, Bradley Cooper