It is truly difficult to know where to begin with a review of Megalopolis: suffice to say, this writer will give it their best shot but, frankly, it will be tough. Back in the late 70s, Francis Ford Coppola, riding high off the back of the first two Godfather films and the sensational The Conversation, had conceived of a film that would take its cue from both the fall of Rome and how the future of the United States would pan out. Epic in scale and experimental in scope in many ways, the combination of how the filmmaker’s career evolved, the financial commitment the film would take, and the changing world post-911, it seemed destined to be an idea that would never see the light of day.
Flash forward another decade and, after selling off a portion of his famous winery, Coppola finally got the money he needed and his long-gestating fable was a go. A Cannes premiere, followed by another long-standing ovation as only Cannes can do, and the reaction was like Marmite: half loved the audacity of it all, the other half loathed it but you at least have to hand it the to filmmaker for taking the risk of self-funding his passion project and going tooth and nail to get it made. Sadly, for all the goodwill you can bestow on him for taking that chance, what he has produced may just be one of the worst films you have ever seen.
That may sound hyperbolic and lead to shouts of “You’ve seen Madame Web, Morbius, Atlas, and Battlefield Earth, right?!” Yes, I have had the displeasure of watching all four of those monstrosities and can say without any problem that it is still easily one of the worst cinematic experiences of the last decade, even among those fellow terrible atrocities. Every piece of dialogue, every set piece, every performance, every camera move is of such an awful standard that all involved should be given a leave of absence for a month to think about what they have done.
No one sets out to make a bad movie, of course, and everyone here had the feeling that Coppola was on to something, that there was much to sink their teeth into, but ultimately his vision and his story fall way, way short of anything close to compelling or even funny, if campy was its aim, but even that doesn’t come to the fore. It’s a mixing bowl of the horrendously awful so that every second of this 130-minute fable is an ordeal of huge, unimaginable proportions.
We could go on and on about the problems with the film but ultimately the blame lies squarely at the feet of Coppola. The phenomenally gifted filmmaker has made some absolute classics that still stand up today as genuine masterpieces, but whether no studio would finance this film because he’d lost his touch or his story was so outlandish, Megalopolis is a catastrophic footnote to a beautiful career.
★
In cinemas September 27th / Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia Laboeuf, Jon Voight, Jason Schwartzman, Laurence Fishburne, Talia Shire, Dustin Hoffman / Dir: Francis Ford Coppola / 15 / Entertainment Film Distributors, Lionsgate
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