Film Review – Haunted Mansion (2023)

For anybody raised on Disney movies – in other words, most of us – the opening combination of the Magic Castle and the strains of When You Wish Up On A Star have always come with a tingle of expectation and the promise of something magical. At least, that’s the way it used to be. The castle and the music are still there, but the frisson is fading and the magic has been fizzling out for some time. And there’s no change in sight – not if Haunted Mansion is anything to go by.

A re-boot of the 2003 Eddie Murphy vehicle (a version from The Muppets arrived on Disney+ in 2021) and based on the theme park ride, the story sees single mother Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) moving into an old, palatial remote mansion with her young son (Chase Dillon). It’s not long before they realise they’re not alone: the place is crammed with ghostly residents, and none of them are particularly welcoming. Gabbie enlists the help of local priest, Father Kent (Owen Wilson) who recruits a former astrophysicist, Ben (LaKeith Stanfield), a medium called Harriet (Tiffany Haddish) and haunted house expert Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito) who join forces to rid the house of its supernatural occupants and give Gabbie the quiet life in the country that she’s always wanted.

The film faces an uphill task before the doors even open. The Little Mermaid and the much-anticipated final outing for Indiana Jones had lukewarm responses, both critically and at the box office. Its opening in the US hasn’t been greeted with enthusiasm and, with UK cinemas still feeling the Barbenheimer effect and Meg 2 taking a bite out of takings, the omens aren’t good. In truth, the film isn’t much better. What’s meant to be a ghost-filled comedy/ adventure with the family in mind has some reasonably enjoyable spooky chases but is otherwise a painfully unfunny experience, full of attempts at humour that fall flat with the loudest of thuds.

The problem is partly down to the script, but lies mainly in the way the talents of its potentially appealing cast are wasted, some of them criminally. Danny DeVito is horribly under-used, leaving us wanting to see so much more of him, while Tiffany Haddish has to resort to her usual schtick of nearly shouting her lines. At least she brings some energy to the film, which is sadly lacking from Owen Wilson, and a clutch of cameos does nothing to add to proceedings. Daniel Levy is equally squandered, unrecognisable under a ridiculous costume in a blink-and-you’ll-miss- him moment. Jamie Lee Curtis, however, is one of the film’s few highlights in her handful of scenes as Madame Leota, a grumpy medium stuck inside her own giant crystal ball.

The two hour running time doesn’t help. As a family movie with hardly any sense of humour or fun, it’s a fidgety slog for the younger members of the audience and it’ll drag for the older ones as well. The moments when the production design threatens to become the star of the film, plus the occasional decent performance, simply aren’t enough to prevent it from being more ghastly than ghostly.

★★

Comedy | Cert. 12A | UK cinemas from 11 August 2023 | Walt Disney Studios | Dir. Justin Simien | LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Jamie Lee Curtis.