As the shadow of Christmas looms over us once again it’s time to visit Santa’s internet grotto and prepare to thwart the evil parcel munching daemons that pass for courier services in the U.K.
In this season of peace and goodwill to all men the horror fan may feel a little detached from the glow of festive warmth, craving instead the icy touch of the macabre.
Below are a wealth of killer stocking fillers that will leave you with no excuses for neglecting the horror junkies in your life.
The Classic silent horror movie Nosferatu premiered at the unusual venue of a Zoo in Germany in 1922. This gorgeous litho print depicts exactly how the sky looked that night using 135 films and icons harvested from the horror firmament. A classy edition to any discerning horror geeks wall.
One of the funniest horror films in recent memory is celebrated in this fictional event garment. Instant cult coolness
Ultimate Zombie Experience £110 per person
Full on Zombie madness with this immersive day out in Droitwich. Proceedings will see your loved one attend boot-camp before fighting flesh eaters and finally joining the ranks of the walking dead. These events are intense, professional and incredible fun. Any recipient will talk about this gift for years to come and you will gain an invaluable minder come the real zombie apocalypse.
This year give the horror aficionado in the room something to watch as you all doze off in front of the Bond movie. This fun portmanteau film sees William Shatner linking various tales of festive mayhem. Much better than the woeful Tales of Halloween you could easily replace the queens speech with this if enough wine is served with the dinner.
Corporal Ferro From “Aliens” Autograph £29.00
Give a little piece of action horror film history with this signed picture of Colette Hiller who plays the Drop-ship pilot who delivers the immortal line below.
Incidentally seeking the meaning of this “5×5” malarkey leads to being hurled down a seemingly bottomless Sci-Fi geek hole.
Dracula’s Castle Around £47 million Call Mark Meyer on (001 212 471 8500) to make a bid.
Ok so the price is a touch on the oligarchal side and you would need a massive stocking but what could be better than gifting an actual vampire castle. It brings in £2.25 million a year in tourist revenue and that is without the planned Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style glass elevator tunnel tour.
The recipient could convert a fraction of the many bedrooms into gentlemen’s dancing clubs and watch the stag tour cash roll in or simply stand on a balcony looking wistfully into the foggy middle distance projecting an aura of evil.
According to the Telegraph the toilets were ripped out by communists which could be a problem if the place does turn out to be haunted by terrifying blood suckers.
Cthulhu Space Hopper £29.99
Seamlessly blending nostalgic 70’s hankerings with a Lovecraftian cosmic entity this gift will melt the hardest of horror hearts. Part man, part octopus, part dragon ALL entertainment!!
“The Thing” Inspired Folded Beanie £13
John Carpenters exploration of paranoia and identity has a rabid following that continues to swell in ranks and any horror lover will have a soft spot for its B-movie goodness. At a research station situated in the most southernmost place on the whole planet the occupants watch “The Thing” on the first evening of winter every year without fail. Keep someone you love snug with this stylish hat and the inner radiance of cult superiority.
Dead – Nosed Reindeer Greetings Card £13 pk 10
Those with a leaning towards the macabre will appreciate this minimalist depiction of Rudolph’s more sinister side. If you are lucky they may put it on their mantelpiece in-between the severed goats heads.
Crossbow Tuition £25 per head (min of 6 people)
Any horror fan, and Daryl Dixon, knows that the best long range weapon for facing down the zombie hordes is the Crossbow. Silent in its deadly accuracy and with reusable ammo to boot. Treat your loved one and their zombie hunting friends to a day out on the Warwickshire/Leicestershire border in order to hone their undead skewering skills.
Brain Specimen Coasters £24.99
This gruesome set of 10 high quality coasters are a sure fire dinner party talking point – even if the conversation is about the mental stability of who ever you buy them for.
Werewolf Hunt And Battle Experience £98.99
Give the gift of terror with this Worcestershire based lycanthrope chase that will test the nerve of even the most hard core horror hound. Military training is included featuring the art of trapping man beasts with explosives. Tell them to pack a spare pair of pants and smile smugly as you think of them trying to survive until their soup and sandwich supper.
.223 Remington/5.56 1 Troy oz. Silver Bullet $20.15
Yes they make real silver ammo and no you don’t have to be related to The Lone Ranger to purchase this as a present. Keep your beloved horror geek extra safe with this investment level purity casting of one of the most versatile rifle cartridges in existence.
A Set Of Demon Teeth From Buffy The Vampire Slayer £249.00
Used in an actual episode of Buffy these dentures will leave any horror buff drooling. They are described as” in good used condition” which quite frankly is gross.
Alien Facehugger Dog Leash £102.17
Any canine loving horror fan will adore you for buying them this epic piece of cultural genius.