Why do I submit myself to watching schlocky horror films? Sometimes I really don’t know. The latest one is this borefest of a Alien rip-off that came out in soon succession after that film’s enormous success. It’s of course Italian with some awful dubbing for non-English speaking actors.
The plot is ludicrous some police find a bunch of eggs on a merchant ship which was clearly a poundshop knock off of the eggs in Ridley Scott’s film. One of the cops kind of looses it and then there is stuff to do with a mission to Mars that went wrong, coffee makers down in South America and a former astronaut named Hubbard, an obvious nod to Scientology’s L. Ron Hubbard. It’s all really convoluted to the extreme and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but that’s not even the film’s biggest problem.
I doubt it will be a surprise to anyone that the acting is abysmal and melodramatic to the extreme. The “star” is Ian McCulloch but sadly not the big haired singer of post-punk legends Echo & the Bunnymen but the Ian McCulloch of Zombie Flesh Eaters. The effects are pretty laughable as well but the film simply fails because it’s not even too bad it’s good ala. Plan 9 from Outer Space but as Enid says in Ghost World “This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again”. It’s also completely boring and by the last ten minutes I was struggling to keep my eyes out for the big “effects” ending.
The film’s only real fame is it was on the infamous video nasty list and damn how far we have come when it comes to what is considered obscene on-screen. It’s boggles the mind how a film with exploding guts and a score by Italian prog rockers Goblin could be a perfect cure for insomnia. If you like schlocky turdfest of Euro-horror which shamefully rip-off better films I guess you would like it but I rather just watch Alien again. Naturally with Arrow releases it’s loaded with bonus features but you can’t polish a turd.
[rating=1]
Ian Schultz
Horror, Sci-fi | Dir.Luigi Cozzi, Italy, 1980 | Arrow Video | Release Date: 6th July 2015 (UK, USA) | Rating: 15 |Cast: Ian McCulloch, Louise Marleau, Marino Masé | Buy: [Dual Format Blu-ray + DVD]
