DVD Review: Kill Keith

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☆☆☆☆

I never thought I’d see the day where I’d come out in support of the ‘Grandparents’ of daytime television, Richard & Judy! The one time ‘King & Queen’ of the morning sofa must be seeing red that their names have any kind of association with Kill Keith (2011). The new British comedy / horror from director Andy Thompson and starring Marc Pickering and Susannah Fielding, is more embarrassing and nauseating.

‘The Crack of Dawn’, Britain’s favourite television breakfast show is loosing its top presenter, Cliff (David Easter). A host of celebrities are being lined up to take his place on the sofa beside co-presenter Dawn (Fielding), the short list being headed by astrologer to the stars Russell Grant and legendary television stalwart Keith Chegwin. However someone, who is being dubbed the ‘Breakfast Cereal Killer’, is picking off the short-listed candidates for the job and if production assistant and wannabe presenter Danny (Pickering) doesn’t find out quickly whose behind the gruesome murders, the sun could be setting permanently on the careers of a number of Britain’s best loved household names.

First lets say that you can see the end of this claptrap coming a mile off, and Cliff’s eventual replacement on the sofa has more life and personality than the rest of the cast put together. If you’re old enough to remember who it was saved the ailing TV-AM during the early 1980’s, then you may well enjoy the best joke in this otherwise lamentable production.

That aside there’s nothing much else to say. With a cast of British actors who you’re unlikely to have heard of, and some distinctly ‘Z’ celebrities, it makes you query how it even got past the drawing board. The premise of a show cast into turmoil with the resignation of its biggest name and modern societies obsession with reality television, could have made for an acid sharp satirical take on contemporary culture. However crass dialogue and jokes which revolve around the cutting off of certain parts of the male anatomy, and a hotchpotch of cartoonish 1980’s slasher gore, leaves nothing to the imagination and everything to be desired.

I could go on but I won’t. Let’s just hope for their sakes that Grant, Chegwin and Tony Blackburn who makes a, thankfully, brief appearance weren’t counting on this as their break onto the ‘big screen’. As they say I wouldn’t give up their day jobs anytime soon if I were them.

What could have been a witty pastiche on breakfast television and the cult of the ‘Z’ list celebrity, is in reality as vacuous and unappealing as the world it is trying to send up. As a result I would say that Richard and Judy have very solid ground to sue for defamation of character – I’ll bet they’re grateful their involvement with the project went no further than the use of their names on the poster!

Reviewer: Cleaver Patterson
Rating:15
Release Date: 26th March 2012 (UK &Ireland)
Director: Andy Thompson
Cast:Keith ChegwinMarc Pickering, Susannah Fielding ,Simon PhillipsJoe Pasquale 

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